Many parents find themselves worrying about how their older children will react to a new baby being brought home. This goes for however baby may be joining your family- whether biologically, through surrogacy, or even adoption, adding a new family member can be very stressful to a family!
Preparing any older siblings is a long journey. It doesn't end when the new addition comes home. However, there are ways begin easing the transition beforehand.
It's important to understand the developmental stage your children are at, and tailor your approach to them. Younger children, for example, will need more help exploring their emotions than an older child, and an older child may be able to handle a bit more responsibility and 'ownership' of the baby: helping set up the nursery, feeding the baby if you are bottle feeding, etc.
Regardless of age, introduce the topic of new baby whenever you are comfortable, but be sure their information comes from you. You wouldn't want the news of a baby brother or sister coming from someone other than their parents! Talk to them about what life will look like once their sibling has arrived. Help them prepare for the new addition. Let them choose an accessory or two for the nursery, if you're having one. Show them on their dolls how babies eat, and how a diaper goes on, if it has been a while for them. Take them on special dates and remind them of how important they will always be to you. Remind them of what they were like as a baby: tell them stories of when they were little, go through pictures together, play family videos. These are memories your children will have for a lifetime, of hearing how special they are- even if there is no new addition!
After your bundle of joy arrives, it is important to continue to allow the older sibling to be involved. Don't expect them to be quiet all the time, or to not want to get in some snuggle time when you are rocking or feeding the baby. Invest in a comfortable baby carrier so you can spend time with your older children while still giving the baby the nurturing attention they need! Continue to schedule individual time with your older ones so they are constantly receiving reminders of their importance!
If you find yourself looking for some more resources, check out the links below!
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