Hospital birth, homebirth, waterbirth, cesarean, VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean): it's easy to find information on each of these types of deliveries. It's also easy for people to jump in with their experiences, or anecdotal information. But when making a decision that is best for you, it is so important to have evidence in hand, especially when pushing for something against the 'norm'.
So, from time to time posts around here will focus on a particular myth. If you have an idea for one, or a question about something, please feel free to comment here and I will do my best to address it in a separate post.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Monday, February 11, 2013
Labor fears: don't ignore them, embrace and understand them!
The majority of women approach childbirth (especially their first) with some fear and trepidation. After all, it is uncharted territory. Of course we realize that literally billions of women before us have given birth, but that doesn't matter. Our feelings are our own, and no one else can fully understand them or make them go away.
However, that doesn't mean that we shouldn't seek help with our concerns. By 'help', I don't necessarily mean a licensed therapist, although don't think I'm discounting the importance of their assistance when truly needed. But more often than not, labor fears can be approached with an open mind, and an acceptance that they are fully valid. Anyone who tries to completely discount your feelings about your birth, in my opinion, should not be spoken to about your plans. Amazingly, this includes your care provider! (Sidenote: if you feel you can't discuss these things with your provider without them being cast aside as 'nothing', it's time to seek care elsewhere.)
Here's what I mean by help: a trusted ear, of a friend or a care provider. Education. Research. Soul searching, through prayer or meditation.
Talking to someone who has been through it before, even if it's not the way you intend, can be a wonderful resource. Just ask for honesty. Try to remember, though, that everyone has different experiences- so try to talk to more than one person, and to those whose advice and opinions you typically value and find solace in. Talk to your care provider. They will know how to approach both the emotional and the logistical side of your fears, and provide you with evidence to help alleviate some of the concern.
Read up on whatever it is that you are struggling with. There are plenty of resources from which you can find information, both on physical happenings during labor and childbirth, and the emotional side of things. Again, though, try to find reputable sources. While babycenter.com and the like may offer you some insight emotionally, you don't know the stories or the exacts of any of the women offering theirs, so try not to take any situational specifics from them. Look for evidence. Scientific reports, research studies, etc. to help truly educate yourselves. Read books on the subject- but try to find non-biased ones; or, read books from BOTH sides. Anyone can feel predisposed to lean one way or the other, and reading a biased viewpoint can solidify the deal- and exacerbate the issues at hand.
In closing, remember, again, not to ignore your worries. Just keep in mind that they are there for a reason, but they don't have to control or determine your experience!
However, that doesn't mean that we shouldn't seek help with our concerns. By 'help', I don't necessarily mean a licensed therapist, although don't think I'm discounting the importance of their assistance when truly needed. But more often than not, labor fears can be approached with an open mind, and an acceptance that they are fully valid. Anyone who tries to completely discount your feelings about your birth, in my opinion, should not be spoken to about your plans. Amazingly, this includes your care provider! (Sidenote: if you feel you can't discuss these things with your provider without them being cast aside as 'nothing', it's time to seek care elsewhere.)
Here's what I mean by help: a trusted ear, of a friend or a care provider. Education. Research. Soul searching, through prayer or meditation.
Talking to someone who has been through it before, even if it's not the way you intend, can be a wonderful resource. Just ask for honesty. Try to remember, though, that everyone has different experiences- so try to talk to more than one person, and to those whose advice and opinions you typically value and find solace in. Talk to your care provider. They will know how to approach both the emotional and the logistical side of your fears, and provide you with evidence to help alleviate some of the concern.
Read up on whatever it is that you are struggling with. There are plenty of resources from which you can find information, both on physical happenings during labor and childbirth, and the emotional side of things. Again, though, try to find reputable sources. While babycenter.com and the like may offer you some insight emotionally, you don't know the stories or the exacts of any of the women offering theirs, so try not to take any situational specifics from them. Look for evidence. Scientific reports, research studies, etc. to help truly educate yourselves. Read books on the subject- but try to find non-biased ones; or, read books from BOTH sides. Anyone can feel predisposed to lean one way or the other, and reading a biased viewpoint can solidify the deal- and exacerbate the issues at hand.
In closing, remember, again, not to ignore your worries. Just keep in mind that they are there for a reason, but they don't have to control or determine your experience!
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Preparing your child for a new baby
Many parents find themselves worrying about how their older children will react to a new baby being brought home. This goes for however baby may be joining your family- whether biologically, through surrogacy, or even adoption, adding a new family member can be very stressful to a family!
Preparing any older siblings is a long journey. It doesn't end when the new addition comes home. However, there are ways begin easing the transition beforehand.
It's important to understand the developmental stage your children are at, and tailor your approach to them. Younger children, for example, will need more help exploring their emotions than an older child, and an older child may be able to handle a bit more responsibility and 'ownership' of the baby: helping set up the nursery, feeding the baby if you are bottle feeding, etc.
Regardless of age, introduce the topic of new baby whenever you are comfortable, but be sure their information comes from you. You wouldn't want the news of a baby brother or sister coming from someone other than their parents! Talk to them about what life will look like once their sibling has arrived. Help them prepare for the new addition. Let them choose an accessory or two for the nursery, if you're having one. Show them on their dolls how babies eat, and how a diaper goes on, if it has been a while for them. Take them on special dates and remind them of how important they will always be to you. Remind them of what they were like as a baby: tell them stories of when they were little, go through pictures together, play family videos. These are memories your children will have for a lifetime, of hearing how special they are- even if there is no new addition!
After your bundle of joy arrives, it is important to continue to allow the older sibling to be involved. Don't expect them to be quiet all the time, or to not want to get in some snuggle time when you are rocking or feeding the baby. Invest in a comfortable baby carrier so you can spend time with your older children while still giving the baby the nurturing attention they need! Continue to schedule individual time with your older ones so they are constantly receiving reminders of their importance!
If you find yourself looking for some more resources, check out the links below!
Preparing any older siblings is a long journey. It doesn't end when the new addition comes home. However, there are ways begin easing the transition beforehand.
It's important to understand the developmental stage your children are at, and tailor your approach to them. Younger children, for example, will need more help exploring their emotions than an older child, and an older child may be able to handle a bit more responsibility and 'ownership' of the baby: helping set up the nursery, feeding the baby if you are bottle feeding, etc.
Regardless of age, introduce the topic of new baby whenever you are comfortable, but be sure their information comes from you. You wouldn't want the news of a baby brother or sister coming from someone other than their parents! Talk to them about what life will look like once their sibling has arrived. Help them prepare for the new addition. Let them choose an accessory or two for the nursery, if you're having one. Show them on their dolls how babies eat, and how a diaper goes on, if it has been a while for them. Take them on special dates and remind them of how important they will always be to you. Remind them of what they were like as a baby: tell them stories of when they were little, go through pictures together, play family videos. These are memories your children will have for a lifetime, of hearing how special they are- even if there is no new addition!
After your bundle of joy arrives, it is important to continue to allow the older sibling to be involved. Don't expect them to be quiet all the time, or to not want to get in some snuggle time when you are rocking or feeding the baby. Invest in a comfortable baby carrier so you can spend time with your older children while still giving the baby the nurturing attention they need! Continue to schedule individual time with your older ones so they are constantly receiving reminders of their importance!
If you find yourself looking for some more resources, check out the links below!
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